“Sexual Enticement”

“It has always been said that we all long for the forbidden things, and yearn for what is simply denied to us. I’ve come to realize that what I want in life is the utmost doctrine of truly who am I.  Honestly, I just wanted her.”

The name is Telah Anderson. My humble beginnings? I’m from a big city with a poverty past. I went from living in a very small two bedroom apartment in Houston, Texas with my mama and two older siblings to presently at the age of thirty living in a private, luxurious loft inFlame_from_a_Burning_Candle Seattle, Washington.

From a very young age, I have always had enormous dreams for myself. I, honestly, didn’t want to follow into my family’s vicious repetitive history of being “a single parent working small jobs to just get by”. I’m a first time college graduate within my immediate family. Since I set the bar high for myself, I graduated with very high honors from my alma-mater, The University of Southern Mississippi, which is located in Biloxi, Mississippi. It was approximately 415 miles from home. I through guaranteed to my mother that I wasn’t too far from Houston, if imminent family emergencies arose; but I made sure that I was far enough, so family couldn’t intervene within in my life. College was longest yet most exhilarating three and half years of my life.

In December 2008, I received a degree within the hospitality management field with a minor in business administration. As of April 2010, I’m one of the youngest sales manager for an affluent real estate agency.

I want to be clear about who I am- I’m not like the “Christian Grey” character whose into bondage/discipline, dominance/submission, and sadism/masochism. I like to believe that I’m a woman who values and understands that bedroom equality is for all my parties involved.

When it comes to being in total control, handling power with authority, and not giving a damn about manipulation, I can solitarily take any situation and twist it into where I am the main source of “power” but falling in love with someone that you least expected? I’m lost.

___________________________________________________________________________                                               Date: Wednesday, September 16th, 2011

Time: 10:23 P.M.

 Location: Strip Club-Seattle, Washington

 

Standing next to a private table in a strip club with my designer purse bag filled with one thousand dollars which ranged from single one dollar bills, fives, and tens, a highly sexual song was playing quietly in the background.

I removed my expensive blazer, flagging down the waitress for a drink.

One of the girl walking on the stage to the pole winked in my direction as a raspy woman’s voice broke me of my concentration.

“Ma’am, what can I get you on this fine evening?”

I swallowed hard, taking a quick seat.

“Can I get tonight’s special?”

The waitress raised an eyebrow as I placed a crisp twenty dollar bill down on her tray.

I know you’re probably judging me because I was in an establishment of this sort on a Wednesday night. However, Jamie Nicholas, my best friend, had recently moved to Seattle to get away from the stress of our hometown of Houston. I’m here watch Jamie to perform. This was the first time, I ever watched any type of performance like this. I have known Jamie since we were elementary school.

Over the loud speakers, a deep voice laced the room, “Let’s welcome to the stage all the way from Houston, Texas. Let’s a give a heartfelt applause to, Ice Honey.”

I noticed Jamie standing at the first step leading up the stage. She was slowing, rolling her lips, listening to an I-Pod. She seemed in her zone as a fellow stripper, tapped her on the shoulder.

Jamie has always been very easy on the eyes with her fair skin. Her black hair was long to the middle of her back. Her eyes’ color was of a rich amber hue.

Therapy Sessions w/Nina Stokes-ACT 1-”The Admission”

               Sitting in her therapist’s office for the past 30 minutes in complete silence, Nina finally whispered her confession that had completely taken over her life for the past six months. Nina Stokes was a woman who believed in control but up to six months ago when she gave into desires, she knew she had lost herself with her latest addiction.

“I…. I have been having sex with someone,” Nina began hesitantly, a desperate awareness that once she said the words out loud that the insanity behind her highly nontraditional situation will became all the more real, “whom I undeniably despise.”

Her therapist leaned back in her seat, clasping her hands neatly on her lap as she assessed Nina’s stoic expression.

“I see.”

The therapist’s tone lacked judgment, yet she did noticeably pause for a moment before uncomfortably fiddling with her black glasses.

“And how long has this been going on?”

Nina smirked, holding her Starbucks’ coffee to her ruby red lips.

“Too fucking long.”

Kissing Natalie Cohen: The Untold Story of Anguish Romance Part 1

The first time I kissed Natalie Cohen was in fourth grade. I had fallen off the monkey bars and started crying loudly like a spoiled brat. Natalie had ran over quickly to me, trying to console me as I held my knee tightly with my tiny clammy hands. I watched Natalie in disbelief as she pressed a small finger to her lips before touching it to my knee where I had banged it. When she was finished, Natalie looked at me with big brown eyes and flashed me of the most brilliant smiles that I had ever seen.

“Better?” she asked me shyly in which I replied with a curt nod. Her eyes were a rich deep, mahogany color with speckles of orange hidden within the irises. From this moment on, I knew her eyes would be the death of me.

Learning forward on my hands while under the influence of her eyes, I pressed a small kiss to her soft lips which caused butterflies to stir somewhere inside me.

As people began to surround us in the tiny park, I punched her in the nose, running away from the crowd. The tears were running down my face as I ran into the school to call my parents.

The second time I kissed Natalie Cohen was after she “outed” me to my boyfriend during rehearsal for our school play. She announced not only to him but to the entire sophomore class that I was cheating on him with a college boy which was far from the truth. Natalie apologized and then offered me the chance to punch her in the nose again. I sent her away with a hand as my girls pushed her away through the crowd. After school when I was walking through the parking lot to my car, Natalie ran up to me again to apologize but my mouth silenced her.

The third time I kissed Natalie Cohen was after her nerdy boyfriend, Bobbie Timbers, had humiliated her in the hallway by breaking up with her for everyone to see. He wanted to impress the football players and show how he was a real man. Idiot. I found Natalie crying in the dark auditorium behind the stage curtain. I pulled her into my arms, holding her tightly as I could. I knew my cheerleading top was getting wet but I didn’t care.

Over the passing years, I had come to the realization that I couldn’t stop myself from kissing Natalie Cohen. With each simple kiss beginning in the fourth grade, the desire for more increased. After the auditorium, I realized that I was actually yearning for Natalie Cohen.

After avoiding Natalie for a few days, I focused my time with my newest boy toy which only made it worse because he was just a constant reminder of what I didn’t want.

Natalie would avert her eyes when I passed her in the hallway and did everything to avoid me in our drama class. At first, I honestly thought this was a good thing, but I slowly realized how much it actually hurt to see her turn away from me. I was the queen bee of this school and if I wanted to kiss Natalie, then I would.

Was this just a phrase? I know that I just needed to get Natalie out of my system. The sooner I did, the better we both would be, right?

What I had never forgotten these years and could never ever forget, the only thing that has managed to be the forerunner in my mind was that every time I had kissed her, Natalie had kissed me back.

This is my story about Natalie Cohen and how our senior year of high school went. 

The HAVE YOU EVER Questions of Unrequited Love

Have you ever tried to let go of someone who let you go years ago because they couldn’t handle the powerful connection between you two?

Have you ever tried to convince your heart that you never loved that individual because it’s easier to pretend the love never existed between you two?

Have you ever told yourself that if you were to see this individual again that you would protect them at any cost because they complete you?

Soul Yearning: A Poem for The Heartbroken

I was captivated by your beautiful soul way deeper than your outer beauty.

Maybe one day, you will be able to grasp this concept truly.

Please, love, don’t act so unruly.

I once believed that time was supposed to help you forget.

Right now, my mind is having a mental fit.
I’m not convinced when it comes to matters of the heart

that you ever left my mind’s foremost memory cart.

They say time heals old wounds.

Maybe, love is overrated because I assumed.

We ran on temporary emotions until the job was finished

yet after all this time, I couldn’t shake you. Now, I’m here-my soul is famished.

Emotional Affairs-Sssshhhhh.

Sitting here conversing with my ex at dinner with certain reservations holding tightly within my heart and mind, I know being in this situation was totally wrong because my wedding is tomorrow.

Before taking a sip from her usual cocktail, she asks the infamous question that I wanted to avoid tonight at all possible if I could but her sensual raspy voice instantly caused to become moist down below.

 “Do you miss me?”

I swallowed deeply, trying to figure out what my real answer would be.

After thirty long seconds of silence, I finally locked my eyes with her piercing brown ones.

“I do. I miss you all the time.”

Take Care

In a faint whisper into the payphone, I finally spoke the words that has been scorching my mind for the past five years to her, “Sometimes, I wish that I could run my hands down your arms, as if it was yesterday when I had you in my bed.”

The phone was silent as I continued on.

“You know, I still love you, Annabelle.”

“If you truly loved me as you claim… where were you these years when I cried myself to sleep every night waiting for your return.”

Loyalty Between Friends: Does it even exist in 2013?

Hello Beautiful People,

How are you today? Me? I can’t complain but I do have a few questions that has been lingering in my mind. Does loyalty even exist today in 2013′s friendship? Are the foundation of all friendships all viewed as being irreconcilable in 2013? Now a days, I can’t trust people to have my back for the simplest things. Smdh. It’s shame but hey, it’s the world we all live in now.

Give me your thoughts on friendships and loyalty.